The Look

They say,
we are too young
we are such kiddos
we are so spontaneous
we are so careless
so irrational
deep in the chaotic madness
we live like we don’t have tomorrow

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The look, the age does matter to them
they dunno how much we suffer
they dunno how many times we feel dead inside
and reborn like poppies in springtime
we’re just simply young pure souls
bravery makes us go all the long way
fall damn hard and stand up as the soldier
never show fear, never show tear
never ask for sympathy, just the company
never look back, never regret

Only death can rip off our hope
all that pains just leave us some scars
We move the world
We change people mind
We are the youth
We are the future
Please all the grumpy ordinary seniors,
shut the fuck off if you dunno “we”.

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Pain killer

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Heal the brokenness.
Just read. Eat. Sleep.
Meet my favorite people.
Cut off all the cunts and dickheads.
Bury all the false friends.
Kick back my temper.
Repeat my pig cycle.
When I dip into reading again. Warm up with Haruki Murakami’s book then dive deeper into well of loneliness.
Nothing to prove. Nothing to lose.
Just dance with me in the rain of silent words.
Men without women.
Men without women.
Men without women.
Roaring this pain out loud.
Fresh wound. Grumpy wound.
Twisted in the core.
Where is my outlet?
Please police karma, where the heck you’ve been?
Burn, burn, burn all my anger!
Raise up my voice, fight for my right.
Can you hear it?
Napalm bomb in a ghost shell.
Rotten. Reborn.
Just how aboriginal people burn trees in Uluru every year.
The fire. The volcano. The destruction for the start of something new.

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Faith in strangers

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We’ve read a lot of violent bloody crime on news and daily conversation. Who likes it? They scare us to death. Naturally, we have an invisible bubble surrounding against strangers that we carry every day to fight against the chaotic urban life, and defend for our safety.
I haven’t read or watched any news since 2014 besides the artwork and my tech geeks. It’s my strategy to feel secured and relaxed. Naive or too arrogant? You’re both right but I learnt that from Mass media 101 at college that the more you read about crime, the more you believe in crime and, obviously, the more you see crime. Plus, there were heaps of ways the media could manipulate our thoughts that I almost forgot right after the semester ended : ) Thus, I’ve upskilled my survival skills instead. What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger. You’d rather believe.
In fact, I’ve met the most amazing people in this world during my travel. I decide to write all those wonderful stories happened in my travel so far. 5 years. Around the world. To be continued.
On top of my mind, let’s talk about people I met on the flights back and forth Saigon and Melbourne in my recent trips.
  1. The lovely grandma

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I still have a bar of chocolate in my backpack. Dark mountain bar of Switzerland. The husband of that lovely grandma gave to me, he barely spoke any English, he just shook his head when I returned the dessert, I answered sincerely, “Thank you”. I was on the Scoot flight from Melbourne to Singapore. My 2nd time in fewer than 30 days. The old sweet couple took a flight home to visit the husband’s mom at the hospital. The aisle and the silence drift them apart. She was in the business class for giving a lecture to a wealthy middle-aged woman with her Bible storybook in propaganda style. It was nice of her to invite me there as a company, unfortunately, I was too stressed to shut off my chatterbox and found myself not a good match with those gorgeous ladies. But they prayed for me. Both of them and me myself for a good blessing to home.
Before that, we – the grandma, me and a nice Indonesia guy sitting next to each other had a great conversation about our lives. We raised it up since the nice guy offered me and the woman some food from his meal. I accepted it without any hesitation, I could eat a horse that morning, all I had so far was just anti-depression pills and worries. The grandma laughed out loud, she enjoyed my cheerful and responsive reaction. She told us, “that was the first time of my life I saw people were this generous and friendly”. Then, she shared with us about her anger, rage at Singapore education and how it was her childhood nightmare. How many teenagers killed themselves and how the government tried to hide it. It was a long sharing in a strong form of expression. How people locked themselves in public, no talk, no care, just racist fight. I had that sound recording on my phone. Such an honest downside opinion of the cleanest country in the world. The guy talked very briefly about himself, just listened and responded appropriately. I shared my mental break down at work and that was the reason I came home. I cried silently, face on my arms, between 2 passengers. The grandma asked me, “Ok. Grandma’ll treat you this time. Here is the menu. Choose whatever you like, ok lah? But no alcohol lah.”. “Ok lah grandma”, I answered. Ironically, the bacon egg n cheese was just like the customer service on that Scoot flight, tasted like shit!
Next chapter maybe
2. The sweet Lisbon flight attendant, “I don’t want to fly anymore”
3. Jess in Jump Inn – a wild walk to the teleport

How to have sex with a lot of girls

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My ex-boyfriend went through 2 serious relationships and he even had a kid somewhere at the age of 21. The last time I asked him before his stay in Bangkok how many girls you fucked, he gave me an exact number right away, “42”. He seemed very proud about that, calculated the trophy in the spare time and even wrote a list of them.
His Latin blood made his love passion naturally but I would say his secret of success with women was really obvious. He just literally asked every woman he met if she would sleep with him. Or even better, he moved the forward step and played around between physical touch and comfort zone. I guess he got slapped a lot, but he also got laid a lot too.
That’s basically killer advice about life.
Since I was a kid, I have strongly believed: “If you do not ask, the answer is always no.” and I put that in my email signature to present myself not by any certain title or degree.
We all struggling asking for help and things. We are terrified to get denied. Who likes it? Rejection is not easy. Also, too many guys I know, it’s the signal of weakness. No argument, no judgment here but how to make things work.
Let say you want to have a good idea, the best way is to have 100 ideas. Same thing with the good photo, good brief, good artwork, good client and yes good date and girlfriend : )
It also applies to highly productive and creative humans. Even someday things get slow and they barely draw or make any decent works, they still maintain the producing habit every day. Haruki Murakami still stares at his table, pen, and papers every night even he doesn’t write any single line once in a while.
Sharpen your tools and train your spirit to create.

Technology is not god

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I hang out with a group of VJs from The Box Collective in Saigon. They are good at that and leads the market in Vietnam. Not only VJ, but they also work on real-time interactive and mapping projects. In brief, they are chasing after the latest technology available there and apply it right away.

Their works look impressive on the huge screen of steady concerts like Color Me Run, Ravolution, Moonson and so on. They are cool kids.

Because of that, I called Monkey, the founder of The Box, and asked him to take me as an apprentice. Instead of spending my heaven weekend with my girlfriend in Saigon as we planned, I decided to stay in Da Nang and followed Monkey with the Samsung Note 8 show. I even slept at the airport during the night before the show since I spent all my money to change the flight ticket already.

We used to work together 3 years ago at Yantv during its golden age, we were all glad to see each other again. He treated me well, paid me the room to stay and meals and introduced me with the team as his assistant. The show run smoothly, Monkey explained to me what happened and how it worked. I really appreciated his beautiful manners, however, I was not satisfied. It was not the art I had sought for.

Later, he run the VJ for Ravolution 2017 and let me swing by and introduced me with his 2 junior fellows. There was not much work for a newbie like me so Monkey passed me his spare iPhone and tripod to take picture and video of their visuals. The concert was quite something, thousands of audience came, but again, I did not feel enough.

I am neither a party human nor a slave of money and fame, I only care about pure arts. Every day, I want to learn and create something new at least for me. As you can guess, the visual for the SamSung and the Ravolution were not that different. Same loops with a little trigger on Resolume.

I couldn’t commit to my apprenticeship. I quit.

But still, I still support and follow their growth. Now the group get more members, they are all fresh and cool. The Box created more original and dope content with Smode, Notch, C4D Octane Render and Unreal game engine.

2 weeks ago, they run their first event ever called VJ Season at Yoko with 4 guest DJs from Japan and one from America. The show was quite successful. I helped them a bit with the media and I also learned to make some 3D visual with Unity by chance and played a half set there.

I was excited about my first VJ experience with my own visual. Still, it’s not my thing.

I prefer the deep conversations about the concept, visual taste or aesthetic. The study to sharpen the creativity for the artist and the strong narrative to the audience is more important.

Technology is just a tool, not our master to create. Our ideas still lead the way.

Give away VJ footages with DXV 3 codec

Hi folks,

I played a half-set as a VJ last Tuesday for VJSeason event and I exported all my visual works in 2 months into full HD 15-second videos with DXV 3 codec (50% quality), most of them are not loops but narratives in the film language. They run smoothly in Resolume 6 and fit well with futurism, psychedelic or post-human theme.

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You can download them here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1IwGBDJMVfr5Ui26dXNUGICwsVCC894CF?usp=sharing

 

 

Enjoy : )

 

 

Run away

I am sick of my parents. My big sister. My happiness has been manipulated and distorted by them.

 In brief, here is what their belief about an easy life. I must have:

 1. Degree from a good college/ university = Respect from people who consider themselves “intellectual” ahahaha

 Well, i did see the disappointment and the disrespect in people’s eyes quite times when i honestly said i hadn’t finished college and might never graduate. They literally avoided talking to me later. It hurt. However, it was such a relief since i had no ability to befriend with whom i couldn’t be honest. The sooner they got out of my life, the better i felt in long term.

But the more important thing is i’ve met so many so many amazing humans who can accept this different Jo. One of my bosses dropped high school and he still won friends, influenced people and had a successful career. We both agreed that school was just a cage and it worked for ordinary people who just wanted to have mediocre lives.

 2. Have a Good job = $$$$$$$ to Make a lot $$$$$$$$$$$$ and save a lot = $$$$$$$$$$$$

then get:

Big house = $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Big land = $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

They are basically right if Vietnam has another war. Soon. (But not in Pacific Ocean area yet, c’mon it happens in North America in around 2020).

 The fact that they went through a doggy time during Vietnam war educated them to be economical. Lived humble and stayed quiet like a clam. My grandfather ( the father of my mom) was kidnapped and died after being released from jail. Most of my mom’s friends became refugees and left Vietnam after 1975. My father got a tremendous scar on his skull from a random bomb crash. My parents were looked down because of poverty. They worked like dedicated bees. My mom just hit 62 this March and she just decided to take Sunday off for her tailor’s business to take care for her 93-year-old mother.

I appreciated their dedication, their sacrifice but i couldn’t walk in on their shoes anymore.

Well, fuck all the money. Fuck all the control. Fuck all the pressure.

This is the new chapter of my life.

Here is my happiness: Love, Arts, and Sex.

The dark insanity conquers my mind and soul if i do not write, draw, love or speak couple languages. Freedom can kill me but I’d rather die if i keep bending myself to please my parents.

Well, fuck the big city with 9-million people too. Fuck the fake society – the civilization that humans made up and got stuck in there.

So, I ran away from them… Ran Ran Ran… avec ma cherie

The bike took us to freedom

The unknown pure faces

Good sign. Good luck. Good health.
Photos credit: Somi Hwang. Check out her photos here. Dun worry, she only takes shitty images: https://www.instagram.com/somangoi/

Photos credit: Somi Hwang. Check out her photos here. Dun worry, she only takes shitty images: https://www.instagram.com/somangoi/

Hope

Pill the skin outside, I’m dead rotten inside. Piece by piece.
Since I have no realization that I get hurt and become insensitive. The excitement in life still exists inside me but the expectation for a certain person and thing just get faded by the time. The hope helps me survive but the high expectation kills me softly. The only person that I can rely on is I me myself.
The French language fulfills my happiness. Thus, my leisure time would be spent on watching French movies, movies with French subtitle, BDs (French graphic novel), manga in French, French rap and listening to French indie music or Paris-based artists. There is the eternal joy in the act of enrichment my French, which insists me practicing the long process with most effort but least motivation. I believe that everything spins around my life should function in that certain form too so I am able to live happy and honest to myself. Such an irrational human I am. I have no difficulty in comprehending concepts in life since I just simply follow my intuition. “What’s the point of understanding it? Just feel it!”
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Though I still do hope, one day, love will come and hit me on the face without long run chasing or hesitation or healing or making up. Just the pure, passionate affection in a fresh soul that is thrilled for love.

Mad dream

Ok. Have you ever got stuck in a never-ending loop? The lucid dream starts merging with your life. You experience many false awakenings? Creepy! Yes, indeed.
Even worse, you harm yourself in the confusion? People think you are mad. The moment you’re wide awake, you realize that it was serious. Both of your hands get tided! The security is standing there. Watching you.
You fell asleep again. Wake up in anxiety and fatigue. You are in a different room now. Still, there is a person watching you. A chubby middle-aged woman with short haircut this time. Someone gives you another shot in your hand. How many already? You totally have no idea but it’s quite a lot, you believe. The psychologist comes, asks you a very obvious question whether you wanted to harm yourself or anyone with the knife last night. “NO!”, you reply roughly without a second thought. The psychologist seems to be a nice woman with her emotional facial expression, a feature that a white woman barely has. She apologizes for asking such a silly question. You can read the worry in her eyes. Then, she writes down something in her folder and walked away. Well, you are exhausted physically and mentally, however, you are not able to afford to stay anymore, even a minute, in the hospital without health insurance. You should demonstrate that your mind still belongs to you and get the fuck out of this room. Good job! The psychologist lets you out! Damn it, one night in here and you have to be in debt in 2 years. Fuckin’ expensive!
Now, you are safe and sound at home. Take 3 flights, crossed the Atlantic Ocean and whole Europe to head back to Saigon. You get over the jet lag and little sickness due to the sudden weather and environmental change. You can even ride the bike in the damn crowded city with 9 million people after a week. Your nerves are still very strong.
Otherwise, deep inside, you are anxious and confused, what the fuck happened to me. Am I insane? What the fuck were those mad memories? Overlapping dreams and reality!
Now, you have a deep concern about your mental health. Again! You are serious about dreams and their psychological effects.