2018 – Keep on the geometric journey

I would love to be an artist and keep creating more visual works, however, the fact of earning certain money to support myself financially makes me struggle and breaks me down a bit. My resolution for this year is pretty simple: work on my bachelor degree and make more work. Maybe I should adapt more art marketing knowledge and set the persistence on the process. It’s never easy but at least I know what I should be in my life.

MandalaIMG_3463SymmetryBurningWhite outStaircaseRed eyeStaircase in dreamCold blueSohoIMG_3497Fishy mindNew wallpaper and staircaseMy mindIMG_3511Can you escape?Dead inside

I have dreamed of you so much/ J’ai tant rêvé de toi

“I Have Dreamed Of You So Much” from Emma Vakarelova on Vimeo.

J’ai tant rêvé de toi par Robert Desnos

J’ai tant rêvé de toi que tu perds ta réalité.

Est-il encore temps d’atteindre ce corps vivant et de baiser sur cette bouche la naissance de la voix qui m’est chère ?

J’ai tant rêvé de toi que mes bras habitués, en étreignant ton ombre, à se croiser sur ma poitrine ne se plieraient pas au contour de ton corps, peut-être.

Et que, devant l’apparence réelle de ce qui me hante et me gouverne depuis des jours et des années, je deviendrais une ombre sans doute.

O balances sentimentales.

J’ai tant rêvé de toi qu’il n’est plus temps sans doute que je m’éveille. Je dors debout, le corps exposé à toutes les apparences de la vie et de l’amour et toi, la seule qui compte aujourd’hui pour moi, je pourrais moins toucher ton front et tes lèvres que les premières lèvres et le premier front venus.

J’ai tant rêvé de toi, tant marché, parlé, couché avec ton fantôme qu’il ne me reste plus peut-être, et pourtant, qu’à être fantôme parmi les fantômes et plus ombre cent fois que l’ombre qui se promène et se promènera allégrement sur le cadran solaire de ta vie.


I’ve dreamed of you so much that you are losing your reality.
Is there still time to touch this living body
And to plant on this mouth the birth
Of the voice that I hold dear?
I’ve dreamed of you so much that my arms accustomed
In embracing your shadow to crossing over my chest would not reach
Around your body, perhaps.
And that, before the real semblance of what has haunted
And governed me for days and years,
I would become a shadow, doubtless.
Oh sentimental hesitations.
I’ve dreamed of you so much that there is
Doubtless not time for me to wake up now.
I sleep standing up, my body exposed
To all semblance of life
And love and you, the only one
Who matters to me now,
I would be less able to touch your forehead
And your lips than the first lips
And first forehead to come my way.
I’ve dreamed of you so much, walked, spoken,
Slept with your ghost so much
That all that remains for me to do perhaps,
And yet, is to be a ghost
Among the ghosts and a hundred times
More shadow than the shadow which strolls
And will stroll blithely
On the sundial of your life.

Translated by Juan Esguerra